I have reinvented myself so many times already, and here I sit, waiting for the walls to warm enough to paint at a place (actually, the air outside, so I I can open the windows and not gag on the paint fumes) pondering my next reinvention, the next transformation to drive into like some moron punching the rain-shaft of a storm holding some rain-wrapped twister in it.
Where to head. Self-employment? Keep writing and just find some part-time job to keep some cash coming in to support it? Say the hell with it all, and turn my back on society like I've threatened to, let you all just go your merry way to hell without me? Or race you there?
Yeah, I'm feeling kinda negative today.
There are few things I excel at, yeah, I'm good at parts of jobs, but never the whole of the job. And the things folks think I'm best at, are not the parts I am comfortable doing.
For today, I will write a bit on something new, tweak something on the to-do list, and then think deep thoughts while priming a room (some ugly bleeds through colors in this place, as we turn it back to white. The clean slate, an apt analogy for my situation right now.
Gonna let that sit, let folks think it over, as well as me. What should I do?
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