How to make Valentine's Day easy to deal with...

... which is really simple.

1. Don't have a significant other at this time of year.
2. If you have one, bring dead flowers to the date.
3. Beg to go eat at a place that only serves food they are deadly allergic to, which will end relationship.
4. Make sure you volunteer for overtime at work, to avoid needing a date/special dinner.
5. Declare bankruptcy on two days before, which allows you to honestly say your bank accounts are locked up by court order.
6. Inform S.O. you are exploring your non-romantic side this year.
7. Just forget it, they'll either dump you or kill you. Either way, your overhead is reduced.
8. Offer to cook a special meal, then set the place on fire cooking it.
9. Make sure you are spending the entire week in jail, for ease of dodging it.
10. Walk in the door asking SO what a margin call is, and just how much cash do we have to lamb it out of town before the mob's local lender sends Guido over to collect.
11. Inform SO you are joining a monastery/convent.
12. Have bizarre accident that leaves you in coma for the entire month (not a cost effective one.)
13. Adopt a pet skunk that has yet to be "descented" for them as gift.
14. Develop a unreasonable and deep set fear of this number, claiming nothing good happens on this date, no matter which day of the week it is on.
15. Book two dates at the same time, same table, and inform them they need to go home together, without you.
16. File for divorce/break-up on the 13th.
17. Fake your death to avoid it (getting lost in wilderness is cheaper, and has less legal fees, but the SO's tend to get panicky if you don't show, then you get bill for search and rescue team time and missed dates.)
18. Get extreme ugly make-over.
19. Fake being given truth serum, and answer all questions, even ones that are innocuous with "I'm only here for the cookies."
20. Hell, #1 is easier, but if you have to, go homeless, jobless, and be a jerk to everyone, at least you might get some cash tossed at you, instead of forking it over, holding sign with one of the above as reason for panhandling.