I won't be writing much the next few weeks, as I try to keep building ahead on the momentum already gained, to avoid another bout on the streets, or worse....
Yes, I've lasted a few paychecks at a job, and am slowly building up the base to get a place of my own, not depend upon friends to survive. Covering more of my support, covering some other stuff, covering a few old debts, and moving to clear more as things get better.
but, there still is a lack of stability, inside my soul... not mental illness, just that nagging feeling on the edges of my perceptions that I'm missing some small tiny critical thing that might bite my flanks hard soon....
I'll feel better about stuff, maybe, if things keep improving.
Then again, maybe that feeling is part of me forever now, ingrained by the events and paths I endured the last few years... just a touch more paranoia... but the kind that Kissinger meant, that even paranoids have enemies, and Fate and Karma must be mine.
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