I am belly up to my private bar tonight,
Just me and that dude in the red suit
as we haul up the sail on the clipper ship
that is my version of drinking with the captain...
Hell with that three sheets to the wind stuff
it takes more canvas for me to move fast
as I grab the bottle from ol' Henry Morgan
and take a swig while at my own helm...
I set a coarse for oblivion's dangerous shoals
Where others cruise so carefully to avoid
hanging up on the sandbars of alcoholism
but I have no fear, navigating by my own star...
Bow down before me as I knock back a fifth
while singing pirate songs and drinking country
smiling as I become myself again shedding a skin
sewn around me by those who know me not...
You will know my vessel as it passes you by
for the red banner of no quarter shall I fly
as the ship in the bottle I sail aboard tonight
refuses to stop at any stop save the liquor store...
unless the pirate hunters find me to string my corpse
in a cage at the rocks of the harbor mouth to warn
others of my evil ways and black hearted soul
until the birds have eaten me to the bones...
But I will then grab another bottle of rum and sail on!
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