Where to go after many Epic Failures?

I still have no clue which path, the self-publishing the eBooks or the four year intermittent blizzard of job applications went worse. At least some cash came, even if from expected purchases by friends and family, on the eBooks.

So, now it is back to an unknown square on this board, and fight off yet another checkmate in my game of life.

Or, more appropriately, it's time to stack the deck for this next cribbage game on God's Cribbage Board, and remember to peg and go cut-throat on the muggins. I am working on some ideas of what to try next, one thing will happen for sure, as soon as I clear the folks who tried to help put solid ground back under my feet.

There have been suggestions made, some serious, some not so, some snide, some helpful.

But the decision will be mine, in the end.

I will admit all hands played the last few years were not my best, and even grant that God and Satan, and definitely ol' cousin Murphy of that damned "Law", caught me behind the skunk line more than once. That latter, well, I owe him a few double skunks after his treatment of my life and fate lately.

Yes, I am seeing that board before me again, a nasty Scoremaster, four tracks, and my pegs in those center tracks look lonely, well back  towards the single digit lands of wins, skunks, points, and corners. I probably only lead in 19 hands played, points mugged off my sloppy counts when points were there, and cribs lost to the other guys' hands.

Not a stellar performance, but one I need to redeem. So, the Hell with Lady Luck, Billenius's mistresses, the three mean girls of Fate, and the others. Time to unleash the worst aspects of one of those latter ladies, and borrow her broom to clean up my paths a bit.

So, tonight, I will stay up late, smoke some baccy, offer up those fumes to the powers that be, and see what strikes me as options. See if any stories actually do progress to the end again, see if other trails to follow come to my eyes, between the wisps of tobacco mists and snowflakes, and then think long on the answer of where to go next, which risks to take.

And trust me, I am looking at the cards before me, which read 19 now, and 19 later, and wondering if a single risk can change that, maybe deliver a promised higher hand, with a shove from me, not some outside agency.


'Cause, while I might say I'm quitting, deep down, sheer orneriness prevents that. I just fall back to regroup, then set out on another sortie.

Oh, Look..... a windmill.... someone hand me a lance, as I jump into the saddle on my own back... Just tell the Knight of the Mirrors to wait a bit, let me stew before he has his fun at Murphy's behest.