The demon who eats electronic job apps - a poem of the web

And you wait for the call
after spending three hours
and a dozen tries at forcing
a website to take your application
only to find the dreaded thing
the hurry up and wait beast
waiting in the cables between
you and the job you seek.

He eats your resume twice
adds extras to your entries
as you fill in the online forms
laughing as he waves his pitchfork
over the whole dang process
to jinx it with every glitch
his hellish mirth can conjure
to curse your efforts with.

You find yourself holding breath
praying another attracts his attention
with some move on a dream job
from his cubicle far away
so you can sneak one by him
and achieve the daily goal
of resumes and jobs applied
as you search for work.

If only there were a toy
some bauble with which one could
distract his impish obsession
with your feverish striving
and lure him into a trap
on a thumb-drive you could toss
into Challenger's Deep without
garnering Green Peace's anger!

Still I have to plod along
and suffer under this burden
then wondering in amusement
if he is immune to blandishment
or outright bribery there in Hell
to close his eyes for a moment
and let this one go down
without a bloody hitch!

To fool him I try checking
email, social nets and others
even submitting a story
to a place I know will reject
just to catch that eye
and hypnotize him to sleep
for long enough to land
the job I desperately need!

Dare I try one last pass
dangling bigger and juicier bait?
I load up a real story
to fire to the winds of fate
as he picks quarks from his teeth
from his last cyber repast
an app for pigsty cleaner
that he giggled whilst devouring.

He sees the lure I tossed out
I can tell by the gleaming
as the backfires hit my monitor
that he senses a true feast
of my total frustration coming.
Off to the big faceless publishing house
I toss a synopsis, three chaps and all
sliding the application by his back.

Danged if it didn't work.
Now I sit on pins and needles
hoping beyond the gates of heaven
some angel notes my situation
and turns the tide back
upon my evil little foe
and heap upon that devil
a case of Cyber-Indigestion!