Traditions of the Outhouse - Poem of an America now gone

Old traditions die hard they say
and this one died a terrible death
remember it well oh joyous folk
the midnight of hallow's eve gift
of that tiny shed with the halfmoon
cut in the door left on doorstep.

Indoor plumbing and years of neglect
reduced the holiday trick to naught
as we found it tougher each year
to gather in a real wooden outhouse
to leave on someone's front walk
as a mark of our feelings to them.

The port-a-potty seemed a cure
until the lawsuits over the spills
of the blue death from below
stored in the internal chambers
so ripe with the scent of rotten crud
that stayed around forever after.

Not to mention the charges of theft
for just the borrowing for a night
of one leased john to pull the prank
that was the Tradition of this night
for so long our great grandparents
had told us of the tale around fireplaces.

Now its considered a crime and evil
with the full government force
of EPA Environmental Impact Statements
needed for years after the joke
is played on the ones we hold lesser
than that deposited in that tank.

But damn it was fun while it lasted...

yeah, this one was from last year, but its still good... and timely this season of spooks and ghouls...