I hated to leave that temp at the desk alone, I mean, who knows what sort of mayhem will slip by the uninitiated. What others write off as crank calls, we in CRAPP take seriously. But, when the folks in the funky shades and black suits call, you go over, let them wire you up, and try steering them away from questions that will leave them in the care of "..the men in white, who are always right.."
I made it to the rickety freight elevator behind our back door, the one I use to escape folks like the little lawyer elf lady when they come serving summons, subpoenas, restraining orders, or IRS/GAO audit notices. The doors on that thing almost closed when I remembered, I'd sent a notice of my disgust this morning, leaving the recently departed James Blair's "Tank", a heavily modified IH Scout that had the military green with envy at the fire-power it packed, in the Director's parking stall.
The damned elevator has a sensor in it that triggers the doors to move in guillotine fashion based on your urgency to enter or exit. Yeah, most of them do, but this one is different, somehow, some joker actually placed metal blades on the thing, to make it that way. OSHA would have a fit, but this is one of two places they never inspect for safety issues. Which is why me and the guy who samples the lava in Hawaii have great bar crawls laughing about trying to lure the paper pushers out in the danger, when I have vacations or work in the middle of the less than peaceful Ocean.
Manny heard the jingle of the keys, and stuck his head out. "Five O'clock somewhere, right?"
I grimaced. I was going to be buying rounds for a few years, given his workmanship in carpentry, and union rules. "Only if you want to help me pass a lie detector, commites."
"Thou shalt not bear false witness, Trejanio." He scolded me, knowing I'd have to, or be up on charges again.
"Yeah, well, maybe you could ask their guardian angels to steer them to the funny stuff, not the locked into a padded cell stuff." I grunted, realizing some of that would be better not known either. "Just not about incidents like that hunting group in Texas."
"You are on your own, mi amigo. But, I will see if Dad will help bail you out if you get too deep in the rotten cabbage." With that, my oldest friend turned back to the desk. "I'm going to need some walnut scraps to fix the desk top, grab some on your way back."
Once a carpenter, always a carpenter. Manny hates most jobs, save the times he sneaks onto a Habitat for Humanity site, to restore his own faith in why he keeps trying to save folks.
"I'll try to get back after lunch, (temp name). Take yours at noon, put the phones to the voice mail, just promise to come back." Letting loose my best smile, I tried to keep (her?) from getting too scared at doing this solo. "If we let if fill up, the folks upstairs make all temp jobs permanent. And the pizza joint down the road is off limits. Caught them using unicorn meat last month, still ain't sure we seized it all."
The newbie looked worried, I really hoped (she?) thought I was joking about the unicorn meat. Looked the type to be a unicorn lover, and had that left eye glint to suggest they might actually suffer some serious horned horse lover vengeance at the pie shop.
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