If you have a problem with this poem, blame this post, and the dude who tweaked it, and the one who opened mouth/inserted foot before a committee this week.
Stoned Rabbits in the Washington Post.
Fearful we must be
of illegal grow operations
that will proliferate more
with legalizing marijuana for medicine.
For the innocent young bunnies
will nibble on leaves,
then, whilst stoned beyond belief,
go courting with proghorns.
Yes, fear this, folks.
for soon many more walls
will bear the fruit
of those intoxicated wildlife trysts.
I foresee an even greater
proliferation of jackalopes coming,
an Armageddon of antlered rodents
storming across Western deserts.
And all know, indeed,
the dangers that will spur
to those who visit
not aware the beasts' habits.
They charge in to nuzzle,
for getting their lances
rising betwixt their long ears,
and spear unwary tourists.
When found on roads,
the dangers compound very quickly,
as tires get blown
by those sharpened natural defenses.
The setback to the economy
will roll across states,
as the new born species
doth duly multiply swift.
First the accident costs
will skyrocket across the boards
as the critter prove
stoned from their birth indeed.
Not to mention taxidermists' woes
when flooded with requests
to mount only the largest
of these new beasts.
Yea, this is trouble,
for what else might breed
out amid illegal fields
of such mind warping plants?
Could we see eagles hatching
after mating with cougars
and hence returning mythical griffins
to our skies soon?
To be sure, folks
I admit his other warnings
are far more likely,
but mine are more dire...
to our ribs at least
as we all laugh
when they find live jackalopes
for scientists to explain.
4March2015-a bemused and chuckling Dyfedd Rex.
And now, I'm dreaming about if they dally with a moose instead.... a jackamoose? At least they'll plow snow for us.
ReplyDeleteFantastic. You get points.
ReplyDeleteThanks, enjoy more of the stuff here, not all up is this good, but I try.
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